People are goal oriented. They have career goals, fitness goals, personal goals, family goals, and more. All those goals wrap up into a pretty busy life, and somewhere in the mix of things people find love and add “relationship goals” to their already hefty list of goals. But all the other things going on in life can make finding love one of the more difficult tasks, and all too often the “love life” factor gets thrown on the backburner.
There comes a time in most people’s life when they realize they have neglected their love life for too long, and now they really crave the satisfaction and closeness of a partner. For others, they may realize that they have grown away from their long-term partner, and often find their relationship lacking excitement or that initial “spark.” This is a natural feeling that most people will experience throughout their life, though maybe not until after many other goals have been accomplished.
After putting everything else first for so long, however, it can be hard to get back into the dating game, much less fall in love with one of those potential candidates, and equally as difficult to maintain love for someone over time. Sometimes, bad or undesirable habits are accumulated along the way, especially after living the “single life” and having nobody to hold you accountable for your actions, which can make it difficult for others to fall in love with you as well.
This is why there are so many options today that guarantee to help you find love, like online dating sites, compatibility tests, speed dating, and matchmakers. Another idea that surfaces time and time again, however, is finding love through hypnosis. Lots of psychological healing is done through hypnosis, so this idea isn’t all that far out. Is it possible to hypnotize yourself (and others) into love? You may just have to try it to find out.
Why Is It So Difficult To Find Love?
Finding love can often prove to be a difficult task. In today’s fast paced society, people are not so fond of wasting their time, meaning they are often quick to judge somebody’s negative characteristics. There are also tons of areas to be considered when determining compatibility between you and a potential partner. People generally look for a partner that is in the same social class as them, as well as someone who is on their same intelligence level and has like morals and goals.
Then, there is still the factors of sex life and physical attraction, both which need to be fulfilled in order to maintain a healthy long-term relationship. Additionally, there needs to be emotional chemistry or likeness in personality. These qualities all wrap up into a partner that they can grow and live life with, enjoy conversation and have a laugh with, and who also satisfies their physical desires and needs.
Another reason it is often so difficult to find love is because each person is so different in all of these aspects, meaning there is no “cookie cutter” characteristics you can adapt to make yourself the “perfect” partner. It’s all just a toss-up based on each person’s personal preferences.
On top of all these difficulties, the fact of the matter is that most people are not actively seeking love all the time. So not only do you need to catch the attention of someone you’re organically compatible with, but that person might not even be paying attention to begin with.
This doesn’t mean you can’t make yourself easier to fall in love with though. Erasing negative qualities and working to be a more balanced, well-rounded person will generally work out in your favor, and if not, it definitely can do no harm.
The Effects Of Hypnosis On Emotions
Emotions, like happiness, anger, grief, and even love, reside in the subconscious portion of your brain. Generally, it can be difficult to “speak” to your subconscious because it isn’t always so great at understanding reason. This means that emotions can sometimes be particularly hard to tap into, and often are even harder to fully understand.
Understanding how hypnosis can affect your emotions and your love life first requires an understanding of what hypnosis is. Hypnosis, a term first defined by physician and surgeon James Braid in the early 1800’s, refers to a state of consciousness where one is relaxed and experiences heightened focus, allowing them and their subconscious to be susceptible to the power of suggestion.
Hypnosis is often a procedure done in a quiet environment that involves putting the patient in a relaxed state, allowing their conscious mind to easily access their subconscious. Self-hypnosis is a similar idea, except the patient is yourself. Emile Coue expanded the idea of self-hypnosis by implementing the idea of “conscious autosuggestion,” commonly known today as the practice of using affirmations. Coue believed that one could use these “auto suggestions” to change themselves, including their emotions, thought patterns, and physical habits.
In this case, it’s not so hard to believe that hypnosis (including self-hypnosis) can affect your emotions, including your feelings pertaining to love, as well as help you alter characteristics or qualities to make yourself more desirable.
Why It Works: How Hypnosis Affects The Brain
Hypnosis has three main effects on the brain that make it so effective on our decision-making process and our emotions. These three effects look like this:
- Hypnosis begins by decreasing the activity in the “dorsal anterior cingulate” which is the section of your brain that compiles and sorts all our sensory information in order to decide which is the most important. The decrease in attention to this activity center helps one focus inwardly instead of on worldly things.
- Alternatively, connection is increased between the prefrontal cortex and the “insula,” which heightens the mind’s attention to bodily functions and inward processes.
- Then, connections between the dorsolateral prefrontal, the medial prefrontal, and the posterior cingulate cortex are decreased, which temporarily disconnects a person from their actions or from being aware of their actions. This means that during hypnosis you may be entirely unaware of your physical body and your physical actions, which also helps you focus inwardly.
Losing awareness of physical actions and environmental factors helps place the focus strictly on mental functions and thought patterns, which allows them to be understood and altered more easily. This helps the person subject to hypnosis to be more easily swayed by the power of suggestion, meaning that particular traits, characteristics, or patterns of the subconscious can be directly targeted and changed.
Repeating hypnotherapy tactics help you to maintain the affects long term as well as see greater results over time. In fact, “hypnotic repetition” may be a phrase that your hypnotherapist uses frequently, because repetition is such an important part to the therapy process. Because the changes can be subtle, sometimes it can take frequent and consistent repetition or hypnosis sessions or affirmations to ensure the desired results as well as maintain any personality changes you have gained. After all, negative characteristics can reform just like they were erased, and because these are changes to the subconscious mind, you may not even notice it happening.
Making Yourself Easy To Love
Maybe you have a few bad qualities, or maybe you’re a total spaz. Maybe you have extreme fear of rejection that keeps you from speaking to that someone you’ve had your eye on. Maybe you have a few too many when you have a drink. Perhaps something as simple as a nervous stutter ruins your confidence for each encounter. No matter how simple or in-depth the issue, if you can pinpoint the things that may be making it difficult for you to attract a partner, then you can definitely use hypnotherapy to try and rid your life of these negative qualities.
Once you have made a list of the qualities you would like to change, you have a couple of options. One method is to see a licensed hypnotherapist and explain your personal goals. Maybe you have a tendency to drink a little too much, or you just can’t seem to stop smacking loudly when you eat. Maybe you have incredibly low self-confidence and have trouble presenting yourself to others in a positive manner.
Your hypnotherapist will take all of these qualities into account and design a hypnosis session to help you overcome and erase these qualities and build confidence.
A second method is to use self-hypnosis. You can easily find videos online or order specific hypnosis tapes tailored to the qualities you’d like to change. Once you understand how to achieve the desired relaxed state, you can use hypnosis to break and build characteristics to your liking. Often, self-hypnosis includes the use of affirmations. These may sound something like:
“Every day I become more confident, powerful, and assertive.”
“I always stay positive in intimidating social situations.”
“I am becoming more comfortable in my own skin by the day.”
If the overall goal is to alter your personal characteristics to make yourself more attractive, then hypnosis may be exactly what you need to help you find love.
Making Others Fall In Love With You
It may seem like a totally insane idea, but you can hypnotize others as well, making it easier to attract a partner of your choosing. Just like during self-hypnosis, others around you can easily fall subject to the power of suggestion as well. This means that with the right techniques you may be able to change the way that others view you as well as their preferences and attraction for you. Will you be able to turn someone around completely and make them a totally different person? Probably not, so it’s best to choose your subject wisely from the start.
You should start by being observant. Take time to understand your target person and get to know their likes, dislikes, and preferences. It is easier to do this when somebody is in a social setting, particularly surrounded by their friends because they are more likely to let their guard down, which will give you more insight into their personality.
When you encounter your target person, it is also important to gain their trust. Typically, you can increase your chances of gaining trust by looking them directly in the eyes. This will also help you gain more suggestive power over them.
Every time you are around this person, they will subconsciously make decisions about you and their opinion of you based on your actions, meaning you should be consciously aware of what signals you put out in order to sway them one way or the other. Be sure that you are honest, though. Lying about who you are or your interests is not the same as hypnosis, and may instead be considered a form of “manipulation.” Instead, focus on your newly built “good” characteristics that you’ve learned through self-hypnosis, such as confidence, respect, or honesty.
You should always expect, on the forefront, that hypnotizing someone to fall in love with you is likely to take time. Just like falling in love organically, it often doesn’t happen overnight. Expect to put in consistent effort, sometimes for months or years in order to see results. If you’re considering a long-term relationship with this person, then there should be no rush. However, be sure to remain observant. If there are not at least subtle advances in the right direction, especially after multiple efforts, you may need to change your approach to the situation. Constantly observing the person’s reactions will help you judge what works, what doesn’t, and when it may be time to move on.
The First Encounter
As stated earlier, most people are not actively seeking love every day. Therefore, catching someone’s attention can be difficult, even more so if you are busy as well. However, there are multiple ways to increase the chances that you will gain the attention of a person you’re compatible with.
After you have used hypnosis intrinsically to make yourself more confident or rid your life of negative patterns, you need to present the “new you” to the world. However, don’t forget what brought you to this point. You may need to repeat your affirmations daily if you plan to let your romantic encounters happen organically. If you have someone in mind you are planning to approach, it may be helpful to repeat your affirmations before your very first planned encounter. Then, create a tentative plan for how you are going to handle the encounter.
If you have issues with rejection, create a plan for how you will deal with the rejection if it occurs. If you are shy and fearful of social interactions, it may help to practice a few conversations in your head ahead of time. Whatever the case, having a plan will help you understand and execute the encounter more efficiently.
Most importantly, take care to relax yourself before you initially meet with the person, and make sure to have a plan to remain relaxed throughout the encounter. Nervousness may make it difficult to execute your plan properly. Remember that the plan is tentative, and you want the encounter to be as real and organic as possible, so be fluid to changes, go with the flow, and be yourself. After all, you have worked hard to become the newer, better you, so take a breath and just let it happen.
Hypnosis And Sex Appeal
Whether we want to admit it or not (for fear of sounding shallow), sex appeal has a lot to do with choosing a partner. After all, a long-term relationship generally requires a healthy sex life, and being attracted to your partner initially is the first step. However, this isn’t quite as shallow of an idea as you may think. In fact, sex appeal may have very little to do with “looks” at all.
While it varies by preference, there a few components to presenting yourself with top-notch sex appeal to those around you. The most important part of being sexually appealing to others is walking, talking, and acting with confidence. While physicality may be important to some, often the way someone carries himself has much more influential power than looks. Presenting yourself respectfully and confidently is likely to help you attract others both mentally and physically.
Just like changing and magnifying other personal qualities, you can hypnotize yourself to increase your sex appeal. Other than increasing confidence, there are ways to playfully express your sexual energy to others. This is important, because there is a good balance between coming on too strong and being a stiff brick wall.
Aside from helping you find and sexually attract a partner, sexual hypnosis can be used in your relationship. Erotic hypnosis has been used for some time in order to help established couples deepen their physical connection or keep things alive in the long term.
Using Hypnosis To Stay In Love Or Save Your Relationship
Even as hard as it is to find love, often falling in love happens very quickly and with very little rational thought. This means that logical questions are asked later, often after you’ve become invested in your partner. This is one of the reason’s that people so frequently fall out of love with someone they thought they would spend forever with. If you find, after you have settled into a relationship, that you are starting to lose attraction or interest in your partner, hypnosis may be able to help you as well.
Just like using hypnosis to find love, it can be used to change thinking patterns to help you re-discover love for your partner or to help keep your relationship together. Hearing of couples using the power of hypnosis to save their relationships may be just as common as using hypnosis for other forms of therapy. Professional hypnotherapists often offer special hypnosis therapy sessions designed specifically for relationships. Other times, they will help get to the root of what is causing your sudden disinterest, which may lead to similar hypnosis sessions as described earlier. These sessions may be specific and focus on one or more of your partner’s “undesirable” characteristics in order to help you accept and become comfortable with them. Often, this can help couples maintain healthier long-term relationships.
So, Does Using Hypnosis For Love Really Work?
All things considered, there is no reason to think that hypnosis cannot help you find the love of your life. Hypnosis has long been regarded as a practical and effective method for all types of therapeutic healing, as well as for changing behaviors and outcomes. When practiced carefully and frequently, hypnosis can definitely help you apply confidence to your approach at love, help you attract others, and even help you maintain your relationship in the long term. Whether you opt to try to self-hypnotize or seek help from a professional hypnotherapist, hypnosis is a plausible option for those who struggle to find (or keep) love.
Despite how little you may have heard of the hypnosis technique in regard to love and relationships, it may be important to note just how common this form of hypnotherapy is. Hypnotherapy sessions to find and maintain love are popular among singles, young married couples, and time stamped partners alike. The hypnosis techniques are also popular among Hollywood stars and working professionals, often with positive results, so there is no reason they can’t benefit you, too!
P.S. Here is a free hypnosis session, designed to help you become a love magnet. It does not contain music or binaural tones (my enhanced love magnet hypnosis mp3 does).