Let’s focus on relationships.
- Are you in one?
- Do you desire one?
- Are you ending one?
- Are you so focused on success that you don’t have time for one?
Whatever your situation is, you can probably answer yes to at least one of the above questions.
As humans, we desire understanding, warmth, and compassion. Often we seek this in another. Ideally, this is a wonderful experience.
Difficulties sometimes occur when we find ourselves in a relationship or looking for a relationship to fill a lack in ourselves.
It is common for people to be attracted to what they lack. There is nothing wrong with this attraction. Problems arise, however, when the lack is related to self-esteem.
If we lack self-esteem and look for it in another, we are looking for trouble. You’ve seen it…the man or woman who feels inadequate and draws to him or her a person who will make him/her feel complete. We need to first feel that completeness in ourselves, and then share it with another. This avoids the whole realm of problems that arise from “clingy” partners who never seem to live their own lives. We can either be one or be with one. Both of these situations are potentially crippling.
“So, knowledgeable Dr. Steve G. Jones, what is the answer?”… You may be asking by now.
The answer, like all good answers, is simple. Be yourself. Simple yet powerful advice. What I mean by this is you should accept who you are, decide where you WANT to go in life, and live an intentional life that fully embraces you and your chosen direction.
Stop reading for a moment and take a look around.
Go ahead…look around the room you are in.
What did you see?
Whatever it was, you created it. You are the author of your life. You made all this happen. You are the artist. Did you like what you saw? If so, good. If not, I give you permission to change it…all of it…to re-write it from the ground up starting today. To live a life worthy of YOU and your dreams.
Now, think about your present or last relationship. Is/was it something that you are proud of and happy with? Are you taking more than you give? Are you giving more than you take? Are you being a crutch for someone? Is someone being a crutch for you?
These questions aren’t always easy to answer, but answering them can give you a new sense of freedom, determination, and purpose. Let’s focus on you now. I had you do that exercise so that you could get a picture of what is going on in your life. YOU are the only person you can ever change, so let’s get really focused on YOU right now.
Do you need more confidence? More feelings of self- worth? A new relationship that works for you? Do you need to stop attracting to you partners which are toxic? If not, that is wonderful and I applaud you. If so, you can greatly benefit from the suggestions I am about to make.
Try this simple exercise:
Make a recording for yourself. The recording should have a few minutes of you telling yourself to relax, and then the following:
“I give myself permission to be myself. Everything about me is fine…the way I look, the clothes I wear, (fill in other details about yourself here). These things contribute to making me a wonderful and powerfully unique person. From now on, I will fully embrace my power and live the life I choose to live. By doing so, I will draw to me that special person who honors me for who I am. I am a complete person. I allow complete people into my life. I help others by helping myself…by being the best person I can be. I also help people by honoring myself…by accepting only light and love into my life. I am fully determined to move forward with all of my dreams and live as an example of what others can be. I am kind to myself. My life is an exciting adventure which I will share with another self-realized person like myself.”
Next, I suggest that you play this mp3 for yourself each night as you go to sleep for 21 nights. This will really let those suggestions get into your subconscious mind…permanently.
Keep moving forward!